Making a Woman Happy

This merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how to make a woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she expects.

Here is a guide to the points system:

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed ......................................+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows.... 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets.........................-1
You leave the toilet seat up...............................................-5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty..................... 0
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex.....-1
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom..........-2
You go out to buy her breakfast to be served in bed................+5
In the snow......................................................+8
But return with a six pack of beer...............-5
And forget the breakfast...............................-25
You check out a suspicious noise at night...... 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing.......... 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something....+5
You whack it with a six iron....................+10
It's her cat..................................................-40

AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party...... 0
You leave her to chat with a college drinking buddy......-2
Named Tiffany...........................................-4
Tiffany is a dancer.....................................-10
With breast implants.................................-18

HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday......0
You buy a card and flowers........................................0
You take her out to dinner.........................................0
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar....+1
Okay, it is a sports bar.....................................................-2
And it's all-you-can-eat night..........................................-3
And your face is painted the colors of your best team...-10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal..............................................................0
The pal is happily married.......................................+1
The pal is single.........................................................-7
He drives a Ferrari...................................................-10
With a personalized license plate (GR8 NBED)....-15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie.....................+2
You take her to a movie she likes.....+4
You take her to a movie you hate.....+6
You take her to a movie you like......-2
It's called Death Cop 3........................-3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans................-9
You told her it was a foreign film about orphans.....-15

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly................-15
You exercise to get rid of it.............................+10
You resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts..-30
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too."..........-800

THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?" You hesitate in responding......................-10
You reply, "Where?"....................................-35
You reply, "No, I think it's your butt".......-100
Any other response......................................-20

COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem: You listen, displaying a concerned expression...........0
You listen, for over 30 minutes...............+5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience....+50
You're mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying "well, what do you think I should do"...............-50
You listen for 30 minutes without looking at the TV........+100
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep............-200