Performance Appraisal Humor

Here is a new performance appraisal checklist:

Performance
__ Leaps tall buildings in a single bound
__ Must take a running start to leap over tall buildings
__ Can only leap over short or medium buildings with no spirals
__ Crashes into buildings when attempting to jump over them
__ Cannot recognize buildings at all

Timeliness
__ is faster than a speeding bullet
__ is as fast as a speeding bullet
__ Not as fast as a speeding bullet
__ Would you believe a slow bullet?
__ Often shoots self in foot when in a hurry

Initiative
__ is stronger than a locomotive
__ is stronger than a bull elephant
__ is stronger than a bull
__ shoots the bull
__ smells a lot like a bull

Adaptability
__ walks on water
__ walks on water in emergencies
__ washes with water
__ drinks water
__ passes water in emergencies

Responsibility
__ can count on him/her all the time
__ can count on him/her in most cases
__ can count on him/her some of the time
__ can count using fingers